


Sideways

by changenotcoins



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: Ben Wyatt POV, F/M, One Shot, POV Second Person, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:15:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27083251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/changenotcoins/pseuds/changenotcoins
Relationships: Leslie Knope/Ben Wyatt
Comments: 6
Kudos: 12





	Sideways

You stand outside her doorstep on what is an unusually chilly night in Pawnee, just standing there looking like a lost puppy with a need for a home. You are not really sure if you want to knock on the door and see that face or if you should just go back to your motel like all the other nights because you don't know if this is really worth the trouble, and your motel is the one place you can be away from everyone, from _her_ , alone to stew in your self-deprecating sadness like you are used to. Sadness and loneliness is home for you, and it is the most comforting thing to you. It beats the alternative of facing her, telling her how you feel because you don't think she reciprocates. You know that she won't be in a peaceful slumber. You know that she is awake, working diligently on her next project, her passion for her work the thing you admire most about her. She rarely sleeps, because the prospect of helping her town is far more appealing than her bed. But there is just something you have to tell her and you know if you don't say it now, you might never have the courage to attempt this endeavor again.

You rap your knuckles against the hard wood frame and wait patiently for her to answer. If she even does answer, because you are still torn on whether or not you really _do_ want her to answer and you silently pray to the divine above that maybe she will just be so engrossed in her work that she won't even recognize your knock. Because she knows your knock. She knows you rap on the door, three times, in equal succession and no one else she knows knocks like you do so you give yourself away. If she leaves you hanging here with the words not able to tumble off your tongue, you will go find your temporary place to stay for the night as is your custom and you will simply greet her in the morning with a steamy cup of coffee with cream and ten sugars and a cheeky smile like you always do.

You want to tell her so badly, because at this point it has become a weight resting heavily upon your shoulders, a weight that certainly did not become alleviated that day when you see her succeed and save those around her. Like she always does, like you always knew she would. You might have doubted her at first, because no one has ever given you hope or proved herself like she has but she quickly made you a convert. She's a force, one you have never encountered, and it both terrifies you and thrills you. 

You know that an experience like that is one to take knowledge from and you know that means you need to take what has shaken you to your core, even though you would never admit that it has been playing repeatedly in your head since that day, and you need to confront the impossible challenge head on. Her specialty is laying her life on the line for a cause she believes in and you think that this matter of the heart falls within that category. You want to bet on yourself, like she does every day in the town she loves. You want to be brave like her, but is there anyone as brave as her? You don't think so. You understand that maybe this time you might not get you your way but you figure the only things in life that are worthwhile are the ones you grab by the hands yourself.

You can still make a run for it now and leave her thinking that some neighbor kid wanted to play ding dong ditch. You have the luxury of time, at least for a few more moments, before she probably swings open the door but you tell yourself to keep your feet firmly planted right where they are because you want the satisfaction of saying you had the guts to stay, if that is the only thing you take away from this.

You cannot resist the way your heart beats a million times faster than it ever has before, the way your stomach seems to be twisting into knots with each passing second, the way your palms are perspiring as you slide them across your pants and the way your breath is coming in more shallow puffs now. You realize this is the way she makes you feel on a daily basis and you just never noticed before this moment. You discover that this is probably what being in love feels like and it scares you beyond belief.

You try planning out a way to get your message across without looking like a damn fool but you know that you have no idea what you will say or what you will do. You know the only thing that has ever been clear to you is that you love her, that you want her, that you need her.

You inhale sharply and dig your hands deeper into your pockets when she reveals herself to you. You witness her glare at you for the unappreciated interruption and your smile falters as the beginning of your confession lumps in your throat. You stare blankly at her form as you attempt to find a coherent sentence and she looks at you with those eyes, those blue eyes you could get lost in. Her eyes have their own vocabulary and what a beautiful language it is for you to learn.

You suddenly determine that you may never find the right words for this occasion and that the only logical solution is to show her how you really feel. You have been told numerous times in your life that actions speak louder than words and you are so damn glad that you listened to whoever gave you that little piece of wisdom.

You take a tentative step toward her and she pulls back slightly, not entirely sure what else to do. You let out a heavy sigh and she widens her blue eyes in surprise when you press your body against hers without a caveat. Your close contact is driving you insane but you want more and you grab a fistful of her shirt, holding on to her like you never want to let go and you tentatively close the gap between you and her, brushing your lips against hers as if you are silently asking for her permission. You feel her body stiffen against yours but then she relaxes into you, melding her mouth over yours perfectly and she grips your bicep as if she never wants to let go. You cannot contain the upper curl of your lip against hers and she returns your kiss with equal fervor, a content sigh escaping her lips when she rakes her fingers through the brown hair at your nape.

You are immensely grateful she answered the door after all.


End file.
